Are You A Liar?

For the Finals, we had a viva in every department. In ophthalmology, we had to face the redoubtable Head, Dr. L. P. Agarwal, a highly respected teacher, renowned for planning the world’s first-ever blindness control program. He also enjoyed tormenting his students. Dressed nattily, you were called a dandy. If you looked shabby, you were a ‘crypto communist’. He had authored the recommended ophthalmology textbook you were obliged to buy. If you bought one from him, you’d be rewarded with a personally-signed copy. Occasionally, he would walk the classroom and flip the pages of the copy on your desk to check if it was his signed version or one you may have bought in a Daryaganj shop. You see, the personally-signed one also came at an enhanced price!!
For the ophthalmology Finals, we set out to examine patients lined up for us. Dr. Agarwal and the external examiner would then question us on our diagnosis and prognosis, playing to a gallery of ophthalmology faculty, who stood in attendance whenever Dr. Agarwal held sway. He asked a couple of related questions to each student, and sent them packing with a jibe or a nod. When my turn came, he sized me up and down and shot out, ‘Are you a liar or an honest person?’ I was thrown off and mumbled, ‘I don’t know!’ The spectators bristled, sensing a kill. He again asked the same thing, and I again responded as before. This went on back and forth a number of times, to my growing irritation and perplexity. When he saw me digging in my heels and not rising to the bait, he changed course and asked, ‘What do you want to specialize in?’ Without missing a beat, I shot back, ‘Not ophthalmology!’
I got through that exam, but till today wonder what triggered that mind game. Folks told me later, ‘you should’ve said you’ve not yet decided, why say something like that?’ I guess that day a trait came to the fore – push me to the edge and I boomerang with no filters!

As told to Priya Sarkar (wife)