👉Watch for the self-talk statements about yourself.

The first step is to pay attention to your self-talk and identify anything that is negative. You won’t be able to change your negative self-talk without noticing it.

👉Monitor the self-talk of people around you.

Sometimes it is easier to see the impact of negative self-talk by noticing its effect on other people.

Obviously, you won’t be able to listen in on their inner self-talk, but people often speak their self-talk out loud: ‘I’m just not good at those sorts of things,” “I haven’t got time to deal with that,” “I’ve always wanted to do that, but I just don’t have what it takes.”

👉Identify negative self-talk that you want to change.

Next, identify those areas you want to work on. A lot of self-talk is useful. What kinds of self-talk are giving you a problem?

Some of the issues and skills you might be thinking about.

Accepting that the other person has a different emotional reality.

Listening until you understand the other person—and they feel understood.

Learning to express feelings rather than judgments.

👉Eliminate internal negative chatter.

Here are a couple of things that can help eliminate negative self-talk:

Some people wear a rubber band and snap themselves with it whenever they start to engage in negative self-talk.

Some people set up an internal signal, such as telling themselves, “Cancel, cancel,” which tells them to stop the negative self-talk.

👉Replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk.

You are always going to engage in self-talk, but it doesn’t have to be negative. The trick is to use it to help you. Change your self-talk so that you program yourself with the behaviors and attitudes that help.

Sources - https://www-psychologytoday-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/loving-through-your-differences/201911/change-your-self-talk?amp=&amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQKKAFQArABIIACAw%3D%3D#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16774151433336&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&ampshare=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.psychologytoday.com%2Fus%2Fblog%2Floving-through-your-differences%2F201911%2Fchange-your-self-talk