It bothers me how disingenuous people are in the debate about trans athletes. My oldest brother would manage to find ways to say some coded transphobic bullshit to me, which is part of why I don't talk to him anymore.

One time he brought up trans athletes in martial arts and was like, "They have denser bones."

And I said, “HRT reduces bone density over time.”

I wasn't out to my family at this time – this was one month after I'd come out to my partner at the time, and some close friends.

I just kept refuting him, and he would argue back without making any sense by saying things like, "Well, they'll still have stronger tendons."

What does that have to do with anything? To break someone's knee, it only takes 40 PSI of pressure -- that's not a ‘male versus a female’ knee, those are just knees. So stronger tendons means what, one PSI difference? How are you going to notice that in a kick?

He was just grasping at straws by bringing up all these things that had no place in the conversation. It just felt dishonest. At the end of the day, just admit you don't like trans people, stop trying to sound smart. You're not.

[As told to @Ragi Gupta]