These days, my sport is mountaineering. In mountaineering I cannot be under scrutiny. It's not a competitive thing where someone can sit here and talk about like, "Oh, she has an advantage because of whatever."

No, because there's nothing to compete against.

I go out and I have my own itinerary. I climb whatever mountain I want, under whatever conditions I want. There's nothing there for anyone to scrutinize, and I love that.

I’d love to play hockey in a league because I enjoy the competitiveness. But right now, I don't feel like there's a league for me – I don't like the locker room culture where even if it's co-ed, it's basically a men's league.

On Instagram, I've talked to some trans powerlifters, who often say, "I would love to compete, but I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with that bullshit."

With hockey, I'm in the same boat, because I don't know if I have the mental strength or bandwidth to join a Women's League where I'd have to deal with being under a magnifying glass.

So those opportunities to play with the Trans Wave are fantastic, because I get to compete in hockey in a comfortable, wonderful, supportive environment, where I feel free of scrutiny for the most part.

Mountaineering is similar where it's an almost spiritual experience. A lot of times I go out alone or with my partner. It's just us in the mountains, and we don't have to deal with any of the other nonsense.

These days, I find myself not putting myself in situations where I might be under that microscope.

I'd love to play in the league again, but it's more about finding the joy right now. Playing in some league where someone might say some bullshit -- that doesn't spark joy. But traveling to New York in May to go play with the Trans Wave at the New York Gay Hockey Association's tournament -- that sparks joy.

[As told to @Ragi Gupta — continued]