Personal boundaries are the line between what you’re cool with and what’s not OK with you. If you’re not comfortable with something happening to you or around you, that means you have a boundary between yourself and that thing.

What physical touch and kinds of sex you’re comfortable with, such as heavy petting, fingering, hand jobs, and oral sex. What types of other sexual activities you’re comfortable with — such as taking photos, saying kinky nicknames, practicing BDSM, or involving other people.

Setting — and Resetting — Boundaries

Part of what you communicate has to do with what the other person does. For instance, if you’re having sex and your partner says they want to have anal sex, that’s a time to speak up about whether you want that.

Be on the lookout for any signs of sexual coercion. If your boundaries are being pushed, slow down and step back. You might be with a person who doesn’t respect your boundaries or who just isn’t able to hear them.