What happens when one fine day u realize no matter what you do , you will never achieve that “perfect body shape”, forget the shape, your hormonal belly stays even if break bones on the thread mill.
( slip discs in my case )
Truth dawned very early when Polycystic ovarian disease / syndrome ( PCOD or PCOS) hit me in early 20s. The alarm bells rang- it meant the hormones are never staying calm, that extra lump of lard might always be there, normal eating would be a distant dream, sugars will remain deranged and cholesterol can be on the higher side. Walking that extra mile might help but to a certain extent. It’s still better to manage weight when u are still young but the story is different now.
Am on Keto, thanks to newly discovered gluten allergy, so the scale did tilt but not enough. I sometimes wake up with so much water weight that the scale shamelessly goes back to where it started. Hence!
Have I been body shamed, very subtly when I am called cute , instead of beautiful. When a rolly Polly comes my way even at age 40 plus. The loving ‘kaise hain Moti’.
Did I care, not till my health went for a toss, I felt the need to stay fit not slim. First about 15 years ago to have children as PCOS reduces chances. While I managed till my pregnancies but Its been a struggle since. The worse is when u are on a diet for a family wedding and u suddenly feel bloated after first morsel of wazwan.
And than people start suggesting diets- I eat as little as is possible to survive- want to tell them .
While I have come in terms with this long time ago, I yearn not to look like a super model but lead a healthy life. My bp and sugar are deranged. So when u see me not reaching for that extra helping, It’s just that I love my body and don’t want to create a havoc with that unhealthy carb or extra sugar.