Nostalgia is when you love what you've lost. Melancholy is when you love loss itself.

Isn't it a simple but crucial distinction? Because nostalgia is natural. We are all nostalgic for times that have passed us by. We idolise the thing that came before because it appears more beautiful than the present and certainly more comforting than the future. It's as if a relationship looks better in retrospect than it actually was, because we inherently love what we've lost. But melancholy is when you love loss itself. When you've experienced pain or trauma and you're holding on to that pain, it's as if you've taken everything away from me except my pain, and so nostalgia is perfectly normal and healthy and can make you feel good even if it makes you sad. Melancholy is a little more dangerous.

When you love what you've lost, you have nostalgia. When you love loss itself, you experience melancholy.