When you live in a culture that is sex phobic everyone will have sexual issues. EVERYONE. And the more marginalized identities you have the more issues you may struggle with.

E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. You, me, and everyone else.

If you want to have good sex you have to learn how to do so. You need practice. It is not something that comes naturally like breathing or walking. Sex is learned. Unfortunately, no one gets a comprehensive relational or sexual education. As a result everyone grows into their sexuality from a place of shame, fear, and a variety of relational anxieties that often manifest physiologically. In order to have better sex you have to first unlearn all the years of sexual fear and shame. Then you have to practice learning how to feel empowered as a sexual person.

And sexual issues don't only come from sexual-negative values or sexual fear. It comes from body issues, religion, food issues, gender, race, and all other relational experiences. Work through shame, fear, and other sex-negative/ phobic values you've internalized. Sex is like any other skill - dancing, cooking etc. If you want to get good you have to practice. You have to learn. You need education and experience (practice.) BIG NOTE - when I say sex i do not mean penetration. I mean anything sexual!